Chaos in Silence

There is a certain turmoil in my heart. It’s beating, I’m living but I really do not know what for. What is the purpose of my life? I ask myself and the only answer that I get is the loud screams of the silence that surrounds me. It wails at me, it mocks me and it makes me cry. It gains strength in and through my weakness.
Silence, such a bliss when you want to get away from all the noise. But where do you escape to when silence becomes a voice so loud that you can barely hear anything else, let alone your own thoughts. At first it was a good thing to be lost in silence. Hear nothing. See nothing. Feel nothing. Say nothing. Nothing but Silence and me, a bond that formed over time. When there was no one I could turn to, she was there, patiently listening to me every miserable & distressing story. I found solace in her and since less and less people turn towards her these days, It seems like she too; just had me. I needed her she wanted me and like every relationship she wanted me to come to her more often. Now I’m afraid that if I leave her I will be crippled. Can something like that really happen?
Now that our friendship has been forged all I can hear is her silence but in her calmness hides chaos and mayhem that only I have heard. I want to leave it all behind and hear my thoughts, feel new emotions, touch new horizons but the thought of leaving my old friend is pretty upsetting.
I have to leave you my friend, my foe. You were there for me in the darkest of days. It’s not that I don’t need you now; it’s just that I need to learn to be without you. I will off course come back to you, to visit you, to talk you. And since you have made me stronger; this time I will listen to you for a change. I want to hear all the untold stories that others have shared with you. I know the agony of bearing a secret. Let it all out my friend and then we both grow together and finally hear the music. Music that fills our souls with melody and a desire to seek and love and dare. Until then my dear friend!